16 Jun The Secrets Gay Guys Wouldn’t Like Straight Visitors To Understand
As gay guys and lesbians have closer and closer to the conventional they will have frequently exchanged within their image since the queer radicals who began the Stonewall Riots for the milquetoast assimilationists who wish to get married while having young ones and put HRC bumper stickers on their vehicles. That does not suggest we’re nevertheless maybe not queer radicals. It just means we are hiding it away from you.
That is correct, you can find a variety of secrets that Ted and Ned, the good homosexual few across the street for you with all the matching BMWs while the prim sweater sets aren’t letting you know, most likely beginning with the reason why they will have those bolts into the ceiling associated with «den» (It is for the sling and «den» is homosexual for «sex room»). Now, it is time to allow the straights in on several of our dirty small secrets. Let us see in the event that you still like us following this. Yes, I do not talk for many for the homosexuals, but, think about it, queen, you will need to let me know this is not real!
Here, We said it. Bottoming is fucking great. Yes, it hurts each time. Yes it really is often messy (Santorum is not really a candidate in Iowa). However it is always fucking worth every penny. There are numerous dudes who just like to base. There are numerous couples which can be both bottoms and additionally they take turns begrudingly topping. There’s also a lot of tops whom just love to top. Topping is fun too. However, if topping is much like a merry-go-round, then bottoming is similar to the greatest fucking roller coaster you have ever been on that you know. The weird thing is «power bottom» isn’t only some stupid straight kid insult, the gays make use of it too. There is some form of shame about being a bottom, enjoy it causes us to be less manly and that right individuals will not junited statest take us seriously. This is certainly most likely real, but those feelings are covered with all of this heteronormative, patriarchal bullshit that straight culture has thrust upon us, and now we hate you to make us feel bad about something that is preferable to chasing a million dragons. And, yes, right guys, allow your sweetheart stick a finger up here sometime, and you will know very well what i am referring to. We vow never to cause you to feel like less of a guy because of it.
Poppers Are Awesome
For folks who have no idea, poppers are an inhalant that is instead simple to come by in most adult guide stores or homosexual leather stores. It is amyl nitrite and it is sold as «room deodorizer» or «video head cleaner» or other preposterous bullshit that way. Homosexuals love these things. Well, only some of them, but many of them. Specially bottoms! Exactly what it will is unwind all of the involuntary muscles (like in the neck and anus) therefore it is a great deal more straightforward to get big things forced into them. Additionally they make you sort of dizzy and crazy while making every mobile within your body scream, «I want to bang at this time» on top of that. They truly are great. They even give me personally a headache while making me want to pass through out. Whatever, this is the cost you spend.
Cocksucker Just Isn’t an Insult
Drag queens are superb! Several of my close friends are drag queens, plus some of them placed on great shows. But we see drag queens all the damn time. It is possible to scarcely head to a gay club without running into person who is «hosting,» doing a lip sync number, operating a contest, or perhaps generally harassing people. For right individuals it really is a goody. It really is enjoyable and exciting and awesome. We are happy you could take in the campy fun, but do not hate us whenever we don’t suit your passion. Imagine in the event that you took us to a straight bar and now we were like, «Oh my god! They usually have the soccer game from the television throughout the club. Is not that amazing! That is therefore awesome. Glance at that display screen! It is so big and clear. Why don’t we provide it a dollar! Have you got a dollar? I would like to tip the display screen,» you’d think we had been some crazy asshole. Which is how exactly we feel whenever you wig out (pun meant) over drag queens. Simply clarifying.